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For a brief moment, he gazed up at the full moon; that was the exact moment when he felt their souls brush together. It was the deepest moment for any two Refarians, the one when they could choose—or be compelled—to lifemate. The one when their twin souls would dance together, twining and gyrating into a mystical union.
But he’d not expected it quite this soon. Oh, who was he kidding? He’d known it was likely from the first moment of their crash, his need to meld with her had been that profound.
Floating against him, her eyes flew open. “I felt that.”
He bowed his head, giving another gentle, half-thrust. “I did too.”
Hidden within his soul, the feather-light brush of her essence pushed closer. His Anna would never be denied, and he’d known that, too, from the very beginning.
His upper lip curled back; he pushed deep inside of her, and sensed thousands of colors merge with his consciousness—it was Anna. Lovely, perfect Anna, melding as one with his own soul.
“Both of us,” he cried into the night. “Both of us…one!”
No longer floating within his grasp, she wrapped her body about his, practically climbing along the length of him. “Yes!” She whooped. “Oh, by the gods, yes, yes, yes.”
“Mated,” he whispered, pressing his mouth against the top of her head.
With a lighthearted, joyous giggle, she threw both arms about his neck. “Totally, sir!”
The seed inside of her burned a bit; it was different than the other times they’d had sex, relatively few though they were. “Nevin,” she murmured as he covered her with his jacket there on the lake’s shore. He silenced her with a kiss, and then knelt beside her, stroking a damp tendril of hair back from her cheek.
Naked, he reclined slightly on his side, just watching her through his slanted, sensual eyes, a gorgeous smile on his face. She’d always thought him beautiful before now, but bathed in the moonlight, transformed by their euphoric lovemaking, his handsomeness defied description.
“Nevin,” she began again softly, leveling him with a serious look, “I think…” Oh gods above, how to tell the man. She felt her hands shake, but there was no way around it—he had to be told. “There’s something you should know.”
The glorious smile on his face faded somewhat at her tone. “What is it? You seem upset.”
“No!” She sat up, and grabbed hold of both his hands, his jacket slipping down into her lap. “No, I’m not upset. In fact, it’s amazing news…for you. Or maybe for me.” She shrugged staring out at the lake. “For both of us,” she clarified resolutely.
“Tell me.” His words were edged like iron.
“You’re not in your maturity.” She began to laugh, swinging her gaze toward his face. “I think you’re still fertile.”
He pressed a hand to his temple, wiping at the sheen of perspiration that had formed between his eyebrows. “This is not amusing—not funny at all.”
She cupped her abdomen. “I can feel your essence inside of me now. It’s burning, powerful.”
He shook his head. “That’s not possible,” he announced stiffly, turning away from her to stare at the lake.
“I know what I’m feeling.”
Turning upon her, he roared, “Look at me, Anna! Look, by All’s sake! My outward change doesn’t lie!” She swore tears glinted in his black eyes.
“Does it matter?” she asked softly. “Is it bad? Do you not want children?”
He buried his head in both hands, planting both elbows on his knees. “You’re confusing me. Is this some strange trick—after what we just shared?” His voice was plaintive and the broken sound of it tore at her heart.
She sidled up next to him, kneeling, and placed both hands on his shoulders. “Nevin,” she whispered gently, “I can only tell you what I feel.”
“You wouldn’t know…would you?” he added the last in a soft, almost hopeful voice.
“Well, from what I’m told, that burning sensation only comes when a Refarian male is at the height of his fertility.”
He shook his head, closing his eyes. “That is true. Totally and completely true.”
Anna edged around until she met his gaze, saw the powerful emotion on Nevin’s face. Oh, he wanted it to be true all right, so much so that it was obvious he didn’t even dare hope. “If it’s true,” she said gently, “then you know what it means.”
He squeezed his eyes shut. “We can’t possibly have done so.”
She threw her arms about his neck. “You might have just given me a child.”
“All this need, this urgent hunger,” he whispered in her ear, “it’s you, Anna. You brought me back into my season somehow. Just being so near you for these past few days.”
“Do you really think that kind of thing is impossible? Maybe it was just different for you, your change. Maybe your hair silvered, but”—she ran her hands sensually down his chest—“but your body never changed.”
“Oh it changed all right.” He gasped, his lungs pulling at the night air around them. “You’ve awakened me like I’ve never known.” He clasped her face between his palms, staring into her eyes for a long, hungry moment, literally trying to take her inside of himself somehow. “You’ve changed me, Anna—in a very short period of time.”
Pressing her forehead against his, she whispered, “You said something about the meeting room. That you first noticed me then. Was it when I had to come explain about the Madjin?”
He held her close against his chest, feeling the rapid pounding of her heart against his own. She needed to know the truth. “No, Anna. That was just the first time I let myself show you that I’d been noticing you for a very, very long time.”
She jerked backward, her dark eyes wide like the moon above them both. “Okay, you did get some kind of…look, or something, that day! I knew it.”
He laughed, stroking his hand down the length of her silky hair. “It was all that talk about your energy. It turned me on, completely.”
She scowled at him playfully. “You could have done something about it.”
“I wish I’d known how. I tried, I supposed, that day in the conference room”—he frowned—“I just didn’t know how to make you notice me.”
“I’ve noticed you for years, Nevin.” She cupped his cheek significantly. “And now look what’s happened.”
His eyes grew hooded and dangerous looking. “We’re mated. For life.” Inside of her soul, she felt a demanding pull, a surge of ownership from Nevin’s soul against her own.
“When you finally get down to it, you don’t waste any time, do you?” She laughed, adding, “Sir.”
He lay back onto the ground beneath them, staring up at the night sky with a deeply serene expression. “I expect you to add a salute with that, Lieutenant Draekus.”
She lay down against him, resting her head over his heart. “Salute this,” she teased, sliding her hand between his legs.
One black eyebrow cocked upward. “You may not get a return salute from that department, at least not for a few more minutes.”
“I can wait. We have forever now—no matter what happens, we’re bonded together.”
Nevin smiled, but inside he felt a terrible wave of dread. Having mated and bonded themselves to each other was one thing while they were here in the wilderness—but how would they possibly handle such an awkward proposition once back on base? He was still her commanding officer, and nothing about that problem had been resolved.
With a slight shake of his head, he drew Anna much closer within his arms, needing to feel her warmth, her tenderness. “Yes, we do have forever,” he promised. Inside his heart, however, he didn’t feel quite so sure.
Chapter Six
A hard object kept bumping into her thigh. Repeatedly. But sleep was so cozy, what with the early morning sun warming their bodies, that she didn’t mind. She just rolled closer to Nevin, nestling against his uniform-clad chest, and pulled his jacket over them both.
“Anna.” It was the voice of her twin sister.
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“Go away. I’m still sleeping,” she murmured drowsily.
Sudden cold covered her half-bare body as the jacket ripped away; Nevin bolted upright beside her, and together they discovered Anika and a full rescue party gaping at them.
“Oh, medshki,” Anna muttered, her gaze sliding first to Nevin’s half-buttoned, disheveled uniform, then to her own bare legs, and finally back to her twin’s eager face. Anna pulled frantically at the uniform jacket, covering herself.
Anika issued a quiet command to the rest of the party, and they immediately moved away toward the lake, giving the three of them privacy.
Nevin staggered to his feet, smoothing out his uniform. “Lieutenant Draekus,” he said, addressing her twin sister. “Thank you for your diligence in finding us.”
Anika inclined her head slightly. “My apologies, sir, that it took so long.” Then, much to Anna’s dismay, her sister’s gaze slid between them meaningfully. “I trust you fared well during this incident?”
Nevin ran an anxious hand over his new growth of beard, blushing. “We are well, Lieutenant.”
Anna remained on the ground, watching the interchange, and wondered why Nevin didn’t just announce the news of their lifemating. This was her own twin sister, after all, the only other person on the planet that she shared an intense connection with.
But Nevin said nothing—didn’t so much as comment on their compromising position—while the rescue party gathered their meager belongings from beside the lake.
Anika glanced at her, confusion obvious, but Anna gave her head a light shake. It would be up to Nevin how they handled this; as much as it irritated her, she did understand that he would be cautious about sharing their news. Most likely they would have to return to base first, and then the news would become common knowledge.
Anika extended a hand to her, grinning conspiratorially. “Come now, sis, let’s go board the craft. I have a warm breakfast waiting for you both. You can tell me all about”—Anika cut her eyes sideways subtly—“your adventures.”
Nevin sat impatiently in the medical area, ruing like hell his actions of the past hours. Returning to the compound had disconcerted him—especially his commander’s concern about their well-being. There’d been one key moment when he should have confessed everything to their commander, Jared Bennett, let him know the truth about Anna and their lifebonding. But that moment had slid past, and he’d kept his mouth shut. Afterward Anna had gazed at him with such raw pain in her gorgeous black eyes that he’d been rendered speechless.
“You don’t intend to have anyone know,” she’d said, clutching at his arm.
Waving her to the far corner of the main room, he’d whispered, “Not now, Anna. Give it time.”
“We can’t keep this secret—you do know that.”
He’d given her a stern look. “Lieutenant, our first duties are within this military. Not to each other.”
Mouth agape, she’d backed away from him, saying nothing.
“Anna!” he’d called, but she had kept on walking.
Shortly after that, she vacated the main compound, and he’d not seen her since. When it became apparent that she wasn’t returning, he finally decided to visit his personal doctor down on the base. The least he could do was learn the truth about the situation between he and Anna—the biological truth, that was.
The doctor appeared in the waiting room. “Lieutenant Daniels,” he said with a pleasant smile, “please come with me.”
Nevin rolled down his shirt sleeve, arm aching from the blood sample the doctor had just drawn. “So you’ll be able to tell me today?” he asked the doctor who had already injected his sample into the diagnostic computer.
“I’ll be able to tell you within moments—just have to let the data upload.”
Nevin raked both hands through his hair. “I don’t get it,” he complained, “Look at me—silver-haired and totally mature by every outward sign. And yet you’re saying I might still be fertile?”
“It’s not common, but it does happen on rare occasions,” the man explained, studying the computer screen. Nevin’s heart began to pound; if he was still fertile, that could mean… “Of course, if you aren’t actually mature, then you need to be thinking about any unprotected sex you might have had recently.”
Inwardly, Nevin groaned. Unprotected sex? Oh, yes indeed he’d had it; he should have taken precautions it now seemed, but more than that, he should have done a better job of protecting his heart too.
The computer screen changed hue, a data trail scrolling downward, and the doctor let out a whistle. “Good grief, Lieutenant, you’re not just fertile—you’re as fertile as a gnangat’ai in springtime.”
“Wh-what?” Nevin stammered.
The doctor spun to face him, grinning like a school boy. “You’re what we deem ‘dynamically fertile’, sir. Congratulations. You must be having a splendid time of it.”
Nevin blushed painfully. “I don’t understand.”
“The rare Refarian male makes a change—gets the silver hair like you’ve got there—but his body enters a sort of sexual hyper-zone. His drives intensify keenly, his fertility ratio goes off the charts…and it lasts for years. If you’ve been making love to any women lately…?”
“Just one,” Nevin admitted, throat dry as he thought of Anna. Gods, if he’d gotten her pregnant, there’d be no hiding their lifebonding.
“Well, if you coupled with her more than once, you might not be looking at just one pregnancy, but a second laid down on top of that one. Possibly a third.”
“Doctor, are you trying to give me fucking heart failure?” Nevin barked.
“I’m trying to explain the situation to you, young man. You are a fertility powerhouse right now—and if you’ve been spreading your seed around beyond that one woman, you may need to figure out just how many children you’ve sired.”
“You’re my doctor, you should have warned me about this. I saw you after my hair went silver.”
The doctor shook his head. “And you were no longer fertile. Something brought this on.”
“Something—or someone?” Nevin thought of the absolute mating frenzy that Anna had put him in.
“Yes, high fertility like this can be induced by a particular partner. It’s nature’s way, you know, how newly mature men become so randy. Every now and then, too, it drives the male back into fertility. You might even go black-headed again,” the doctor volunteered with a jocular laugh.
Nevin shot a look at himself in the sink mirror, and imagined himself with dark, unsilvered hair once again. Then he flinched, realizing that he might have seeded several babies inside of Anna. “I need to find that woman,” he said, still studying himself in the mirror.
“She’s not just any woman, now is she, Lieutenant Daniels?”
He grinned at the wizened doctor. “No, doctor,” he admitted with a grin, “she’s my lifemate.”
When Nevin returned to the lodge, Anna was nowhere to be found, and he learned from her twin sister that she’d been working with several soldiers down at Base Ten. It felt as if she would never return, and although he retreated to the meeting room to study schematics and some battle strategies, he couldn’t bring his mind to focus. All he could think of was Anna being pregnant—maybe even with multiple babies. As much as he yearned for a family with her, it was the last thing either of them had really imagined.
When nightfall came, he made an appearance at dinner, positioning himself at the table with Jared and Kelsey. He could only hope that Anna’s hurt and anger from his earlier behavior wouldn’t keep her gone all night. He’d been cruel, treating her dismissively with their king, and she hadn’t deserved any of it.
Of course she wanted to share quarters with him—and of course she wanted the world to know. As the day had worn on, he’d realized what a ridiculous fool he’d been to even imagine that they could hide the true nature of their relationship, the depth of their lifebonding, from those around them.
Beside him, Jared clea
red his throat, explaining that he’d voiced some polite question three times now without a reply. Nevin blinked back at him, feeling dazed.
He placed his right fist over his heart, and bowed deeply. “Apologies, my lord,” he said, feeling ashamed to have shown such dishonor to his king and commander.
“Rise, Lieutenant,” Jared told him impatiently. Nevin knew all too well that the king had little patience for his deeply held traditions, but he would as soon have resigned his position than treat his commander any differently.
Again, Jared intruded on his thoughts. “N’Vsai, are you feeling all right?” Only then did he realize he was still frozen, one hand over his heart, bowing deeply. With a stiff gesture, he sat up straight in the chair.
“No, my lord, I am feeling quite…unlike myself.”
“The past few days took a toll on you, I am certain,” Jared agreed.
Kelsey gazed at him in concern. “Perhaps you should go to the medical area?”
“No!” He shook his head, softening his tone. “No, my lady, I have already been.”
“It wouldn’t hurt you to go back,” she offered, clearly wondering why he’d been so adamant.
Pressing both hands to his temples, he decided that there was no moment like the present; sucking in a fortifying breath he whispered, “I have much to confess.”
Nevin tossed back a shot of whiskey that his king had poured for him. “Well, congratulations are definitely in order,” Jared had thundered joyously. Nevin wished he could share his king’s good humor.
“Sir, you don’t seem to understand—I have faltered to the worst possible extent with her. There may well be nothing to celebrate,” he admitted miserably, draining the rest of the whiskey.
Jared wasted no time, and hit him again; Nevin wasted no time, either, and drained the glass dry with one gulp. He saw Jared’s black eyes sparkle with amusement.